I date geeks. Not exclusively, mind you, but primarily. Many times in my life I have found myself competing for attention with a new gadget covered in sexy nobs and dials. Most days I like to think I have handled with with good grace, sometimes even enthusiasm, but there is one sore spot I would like to address: boys need to learn to love girl’s toys too. All too often I have seen even the most technophillic of men turn awkward and uncomfortable when the technology starts encroaching on the bedroom. This simply will not do.

Now, not all girls like sex toys, but most of us do. If you ask to see your lover’s toy collection and there’s more than two items in there, and they aren’t new or gag gifts from friends, then your lover wants you to use those toys on her (or him, not ALL of those are for me!). It is here where most men falter. Be not weak of heart! Grab that rabbit vibrator like it’s a brand new 2nd gen i-phone and you want to figure out ALL the new features, on your own, without a manual, and on your girlfriend. She will be thrilled. Approach erotic gadgetry with that same thrill you would approach any new technology. This isn’t a “dildo”, no, nothing so mundane. This is the Orgasmatic 5000! You are Stud Man! Your sworn mission to use your dizzying intellect and cutting edge technology to save the world, one orgasm at a time!

Some of you get a little cranky at the idea that your special lady friends might like their battery operated buddies more than your majestic meat monument. You are looking at this all backwards. Toys are items, tools, accessories. With a quick trip to the adult store you CAN be the super porn star with a 12′ dong who can fuck all comers until they fall over from erotic exhaustion. We have the technology! Never again feel inadequate because nature didn’t endow you with three giant, vibrating, gyrating cocks! Buy them! Own them! Master them! When you make love, and it’s just her and you in your naked splendor, then is the time to marvel at the perfection of the unadorned human form and how perfectly and blissfully your two bodies meld into one orgasmic whole! Tuesdays are for rolling her over, shoving a toy in every orifice you can reach, and making her cum like a shrieking monkey until something good comes on TV. Trust me, she will thank you, and you will get a lot more blowjobs.

Of course, one of the glorious things about being a

phone sex

operator is that it’s understood my fingers will be the ones doing the walking during our conversations, and most of my callers are more than thrilled to hear the gentle buzzing of battery operated bliss in the background. I have also been blessed with some wonderful, learned, patient, giving, and fantastically skilled lovers. All of this has encouraged me to accumulate a rather impressive collection of toys for use on myself and my lovers. The photo above is just what we take with us to parties! If anything above looks like something you’d like to hear a VERY personal review of, I’m more than happy to take them out for a spin upon request… 

Miss Myriad
(866) SEXY-832